Wake Up Hour - Jeff Jones
A big Blues victory in Montreal last night was paired with a Brayden Schenn hat trick, propelling the Blues back into the win and scoring column. Tarasenko is in the depths of a slump and he needs to pull himself out. The Cardinals picked up a starting pitcher yesterday but it wasn't the one that anybody would've expected. Hockey Bob calls in to talk about Jay Bouwmeester and whether the Blues can make material improvements moving forward. Doug Armstrong's contract is just about up, and Jeff breaks down the Time Persons Of The Year.
Segment One (with Dr. Ed) - Chris Denman, Michael Gaines, Jeff Jones
Gaines thinks Jeff turns into Trump when the Blues are involved. What would Cara Spencer's Trump nickname be? French hats are called "chapeaux" and Gaines and Chris claimed not to know it. Cara Spencer may be "Stop Sign Spencer." Jeff had to take a sign to a protest so he didn't look like a cop. Doug Armstrong is in the middle of a contract negotiation and Brayden Schenn is helping. Momma Gaines says Happy St. Nick's Day. Did everyone check their shoes this morning? We learn about Saint Nicholas. Carl Winslow once got shot on Family Matters. Old sitcoms had some really heavy episodes. Everyone was super in to Krampus for a while. Jeff might be trying to get Vladimir Tarasenko killed. Reginald VelJohnson is not verified on Twitter. Dr. Ed comes in and joins the show as always. What does Dr. Ed think about eating lizards? Dr. Ed had to give a Clydesdale a shot and Gaines wants to know about the needle. Dr. Ed describes an elephant necropsy in detail. Dr. Ed says the way to force a dog to change foods is to get backbone. Jeff is more afraid of primates than big cats and Dr. Ed thinks he's an idiot. We're officially opposed to going into the zoo exhibits. Gaines explains the Big Baller Brand to Dr. Ed.
Segment Two (with Mike Ozanian) - Chris Denman, Travis Terrell, Michael Gaines, Jeff Jones
Joined immediately by Mike Ozanian (@MikeOzanian) of Forbes to talk NHL franchise valuations and the business of hockey. The prospective ownership groups have a lot to do with the franchise valuations. The Cardinals get to do whatever they want whenever they want and the Blues have to scrape for every dime. Hey everybody, Travis is here! Travis says we're going to call Giancarlo "Bam Bam." Poor Brett Cecil might have to change his jersey number again. Travis wants to see a black version of Step Brothers. Was there a single black character in that movie? Recasting black movies as white movies and vice versa is fun. Barber shops are complicated social structures. Gaines wants to see Larry the Cable Guy as Bubba in Forrest Gump. Travis is holding Modern Family accountable. Is Roy Moore the White Cosby? Everyone is texting in so Big Al must be on another show.
Segment Three - Chris Denman, Travis Terrell, Michael Gaines, Jeff Jones
Mizzou won last night but didn't cover vs. Miami Ohio. Travis refuses to concede that Mizzou might ever play bad. Gaines may or may not like to listen to other people. Michael Porter was on the bench last night and Travis is pretty excited. If MPJ ever comes back then Gaines wants a full investigation. The damn Kroenkes are everywhere still. Go get the money, Drew Lock. Go get the money now. Dan Patrick is naming Drew Lock as a draft surprise so it's getting real. Lock has some actual Mizzou loyalty. Maybe Mizzou should bring in Dave Christensen. Gaines is convinced that Josh Heupel is just not a good case. Rafael Palmeiro thinks he's coming back to the majors. This is just like when Bernie Mac came back to play for the Brewers. Chris and Jeff have never seen Mr. 3000. Benchwarmers was a great baseball movie. Travis can't believe that people saw Benchwarmers. Celtic Pride was a great basketball movie, and so was The Sixth Man. Does Shawshank Redemption count as a baseball movie? Darlene Green was hiding all day yesterday and Travis thinks her move was the blackest thing ever done at City Hall. It may be weird that Jeff knows where Gardner lives. Jeff defends the Morning Melee. Fair or Foul closes the show as always.